But it’s more realistic and effective to gently persuade them, so they can compromise without feeling like they’ve lost. Years ago, in their policy for dealing with angry customers, Enterprise Car Rentals urged staff to “never let the customer lose face.” It’s tempting in a conflict to try to argue the other person into a corner, to try to force them to agree with you.

Provide an escape hatch for the other person in the conflict. In matters of taste, swim with the current.” Ask yourself two important questions: “Does this really make a difference?” and “Will I care about this tomorrow?” If you answer “no,” then perhaps you can compromise on your position.ĥ. Thomas Jefferson famously said, “In matters of principle, stand like a rock. This defuses defensiveness and allows you both to focus on solving the problem at hand. Assume right motives from the person you’re in conflict with.

It’s natural to do the opposite: To let ourselves off the hook while we demand perfection from others. But to handle others, you should use your heart. I’ve often said that to handle yourself, you should use your head. Focus on the relationship over and above the issue, and you’ll keep the lines of communication open. It’s the quickest way to start moving the conflict toward resolution.ĭo you know anyone who does the opposite? How much conflict does he or she experience in life? It’s my belief that anyone who loves his opinions more than his friends will defend his opinions and destroy his friends. Writer Cullen Hightower said, “There’s too much said for the sake of argument and too little said for the sake of agreement.” The first and best response when conflict emerges in a relationship is to actively search for the areas where you already agree. What’s that? “Find the 1% that you agree on and give it 100% of your effort.” But I believe there are both constructive and destructive ways to approach it. But nothing determines our success in life as much as our ability to work with other people.Īnd nothing is more messy in relationships than dealing with conflict. In reality, they can be difficult and messy. “I love mankind – it’s people I can’t stand.” Charlie Brown, in Charles Schulz’ timeless comic strip, “Peanuts”Ĭharlie Brown had a point: relationships with other human beings are wonderful – in theory.

Resolving conflict quotes